Loving Yourself: Why self-love isn't Just a Feeling, But a Lifelong Practice

When we think about self-love, it’s often tied to moments when we’re happy with ourselves—when we accomplish a goal, look our best, or feel content. But true self-love isn’t a passing feeling; it’s an approach to life, a commitment to honoring our own needs, and a set of deliberate actions. Loving yourself is less like falling in love and more like a job—a role that demands time, consistency, and patience.

Self-Love Is About Commitment, Not Mood

We live in a world that frequently equates self-love with fleeting feelings of happiness, but self-love is a commitment that doesn’t waver with your mood. Think of it like a relationship. Just as you would nurture a healthy relationship with someone else, you need to consistently nurture the one you have with yourself. This means showing up for yourself every day, even when you’re stressed, tired, or don’t feel like it.

Self-Love Means Setting Boundaries and Protecting Your Well-being

Part of the “job” of self-love is learning when to say no and setting boundaries to protect your mental and emotional health. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about valuing yourself enough to prioritise your own needs. For example, choosing not to answer work emails on a Saturday, or saying no to a friend’s invitation when you need rest, is an act of self-love because it honors what you genuinely need. Just like any important responsibility, boundaries help protect you from burnout and foster a healthier balance.

It’s common to hear “self-care” and picture pampering—like baths, skincare routines, or special treats. While those can be helpful, real self-care is often far less glamorous. It’s also about meeting your deeper needs: taking care of your health, getting enough sleep, and managing your finances responsibly. Think of self-care as an active, ongoing practice that goes beyond occasional indulgences. It’s about consistently doing what’s good for you, even when it’s challenging.

Self-Compassion Is an Active Part of Self-Love

Loving yourself doesn’t mean ignoring your flaws or always feeling confident. Instead, it means learning to treat yourself with compassion when you make mistakes. Self-compassion is about forgiving yourself, giving yourself grace, and understanding that you’re human. Studies show that self-compassion is linked to greater resilience, better mental health, and a higher likelihood of making positive changes in life. This kind of compassion makes self-love a process of growth, not perfection.

Think of self-love as a long-term investment. Just as you wouldn’t expect a single workout to keep you fit or one therapy session to resolve all your issues, you can’t expect a single act of self-love to “complete” you. Self-love involves consistently working toward your well-being, which can mean prioritizing time for self-reflection, setting realistic goals, and regularly checking in with yourself. This investment pays off by helping you lead a balanced and fulfilling life.

Self-Love Builds a Foundation for Other Relationships

The way you love yourself forms the foundation for how you relate to others. When you respect and care for yourself, you’re less likely to tolerate disrespect, manipulation, or neglect from others. Setting high standards for your own well-being helps you expect the same from others and creates stronger, healthier relationships as a result. When you’re fully invested in yourself, you’re better equipped to show up authentically and meaningfully for those you care about.

Loving yourself can feel like an enormous responsibility at times, especially when it requires you to unlearn habits of self-criticism or to let go of people and situations that don’t serve you. The effort you put into loving yourself, however, is well worth it. The more consistently you show up for yourself, the more resilient, self-aware, and fulfilled you become.

Embracing Self-Love as a Lifelong Journey

Self-love isn’t a one-time achievement or something that you suddenly “feel.” Instead, it’s an ongoing journey—a job that requires dedication, care, and action. By reframing self-love as a consistent practice, you allow yourself to grow, heal, and reach a state of balance that goes far deeper than fleeting feelings.

In the end, self-love is about honoring who you are, standing up for your needs, and committing to nurturing yourself just as you would for anyone you truly care about. It’s the most important job you’ll ever have—and the one most worthy of your time.

If you would like to take a sustainable and powerful first step on the journey to self-love, why not check out our new journals. With three to choose from, you can select the one which resonates most closely with your current needs. Inside, you'll find 52 powerful and impactful journal prompts, along with the space to journal, and express gratitude.

Remember...when you are born, you are given responsibility for one human above all others - yourself.